*thank you Candy. I loved all the gifts, especially this one. Very thoughtful
The Secret Agents have been #1 for the past 15 days. We've taken a commanding 500 point lead over the nearest team. Remember I Can Make You Second? Well he's currently in 3rd and in serious danger of Ralph passing him; leaving him in fourth place.
The competition is officially eliminated.
Kobe Bryant was a great earner for us. Dropping 40 FPs (Fantasy Points) per game as a member of the organization. Andrew Bynum was the star on Christmas Day, also bringing in the team about $1,000,000 in salary cap space. But they'll be riding the bench this week.
I'm proud to announce the re-signing of Chris Paul. He'll be part of our superstar 3 guard backcourt with Steve Nash and Allen Iverson
We're also happy to announce the signing of future all-star Al Jefferson and his teammate Rashad Maccants. Or how we like to call him, Rashad McCAN!
The Secret Agents loves all their players and will continue to eat humble pie (at least in public). We work hard to be #1 in our league and appreciate every single one of our players. We also would like to extend an olive branch to any of the other teams who need help revamping their squads. We now offer freelance consulting through The Famous Firm. Help us help you.
I'm a movie junkie. I'd be in a theater everyday if time permitted. This year I saw about 50 in the theater. Here's the breakdown:
Favorite Movie Superbad
Runner Up American Gangster
Dope Movies The Bourne Ultimatum 300 Knocked Up Blades Of Glory Ocean's 13 Dreamgirls The Pursuit Of Happiness 3:10 To Yuma Michael Clayton Mr. Brooks The Good Shepard Eastern Promises The Last King Of Scotland Casino Royale The Lives Of Others Juno Volver Before The Devil Knows You're Dead Lust, Caution The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford The Bucket List
Didn't Think It Would Be Good But Was: Atonement Fracture No Reservations Shoot Em Up I Am Legend Disturbia
Thought It Would Be Way Better: The Brave One The Simpsons Saw IV Hostel Part II We Own The Night
Indifferent About: Live Hard Or Die Free Norbit I Think I Love My Wife Shooter Smokin Aces Zodiac Daddy's Little Girls War Illegal Tender Mr Untouchable Spiderman 3
Fell Asleep Watching: Pirates Of The Caribbean: At The World's End I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry The Kingdom No Country For Old Men
Couldn't Pay Me To Watch: Stomp The Yard Fred Claus TMNT Sydney White Rush Hour 3 Bug
Still Want To See: Hitman Good Luck Chuck (Love You Alba) Children Of Men Into The Wild P2 (I dunno why) Brooklyn Rules Romance And Cigarettes Darfur Now Reservation Road The Transformers Gone, Baby, Gone
More "What They've Learned In 2007" from friends ad associates
William Kutchum III Writer, Future Magazine Owner
Got this idea from reading Sickamore's blog, who got his idea from Esquire magazine. Basically, this is just "the condensed life lessons, knowledge and weird insights" from my past year.
-Entrepreneurship/self-enterprising is the only way. Journalism is my love and freelancing is my hustle, but I've gotten fucked over on too many checks by too many magazines and web sites this past year to depend on them anymore. I'ma keep freelancing, but starting my own publication, book and other ventures is more than an aspiration now: it's a necessity. Word to Adisa Banjoko, Steve "Flash" Juon, and the rest.
-Knowing successful people is valuable for more reasons than you may think. Not only because they can give you connections that you need or give you career advice, but because they're inspiration and they can keep you hungry. Y'all think I'm doing my thing? When you see who I chat with that's my age - Danya Steele, Tionna Smalls, Miso Brown, aforementioned Sickamore - it's a necessity.
-Speaking of Danya Steele and Tionna Smalls, I've realized that I need to wife a woman who's really, really doing her thing from a career standpoint. Not only will we connect better, but a woman who can handle her biz - especially if she's innovative with how she does it - is sexy as fuck to me. And if she looks good? Wrap.
-I'm going to start getting involved in fantasy sports from now on, namely football and/or basketball. ESPN is the only TV channel I watch, all my people do it, and it'll give me more reason to watch games more consistently and analyze these sports better. Plus, that shit just looks fun; I feel left out as hell when cats are talkin' about their fantasy stats around me.
-I really wish I would've learned the value of saving money earlier in my college career. Any young'n's who read this, stay fly, but stay secure, too. You'll understand what I'm saying in a few years.
-I swear I'ma make some YouTube videos this year. I've got a webcam on my Dell XPS M1330, but I don't know what the fuck to make a video about; my ideas always seem like their better articulated through writing.
-On a relevant note, my essentials list: Dell XPS M1330, Blackberry 8800, 80GB iPod (I'm still on my 5th gen, hopefully copping the 160GB new joint sometime next year), Sony IC Recorder (props to Thelonious G for the return), and Sony 7.2 megapixel Cyber-Shot (not as dope as my nigga Miso's shit, but hey, it works). I can't wait to get more bread so I can cop shit as much as I want.
-On another relevant note, popularity hasn't been something I've strived for since like high school, but I wanna be popular so I can get a deal advertising a product I love (preferably a Blackberry). Getting free, customized shit and tapping my name on something I either already use or fully advocate , just because of who you are, is dope as hell to me. See: Dwayne Wade, John Mayer, etc.
-I used to think it was overrated. But if you do it the right way, drinking is fun as hell.
Hip-Hop -If you listened to all the great albums that came out in 2007 and still believe that hip-hop is dead, fuck you. The music is the best that it's been since '96 (yeah I said it), and old heads are holding it down while young cats are keeping shit hot for the future.
-On a related note: VH1 Hip Hop Honors, Tribe Called Quest slighting, and dumb OkayPlayer comments aside, Lupe Fiasco is the best emcee under 30. Don't get me wrong: Blu, Joe Budden and Chamillionaire are competition, but Lupe's conceptual genius, metaphors, wordplay and delivery are unparalleled these days.
-I'm not sure where I'll be once I graduate, but if I stay, a benefit will definitely be Michigan's hip-hop scene. With all the dope shit that's coming out from here - OneBeLo, Black Milk, Buff1, Guilty Simpson, and others - it's incredible to know and honor such an incredible hub for hip-hop.
-There needs to be a hip-hop version of The View, with 50 Cent, Cam'ron, Ghostface and RZA. That shit would be beyond hilarious.
Singer, songwriter, writer, Radio presenter & producer
In bed (Cape Town, South Africa)
So I'm at home sick and waiting for the 'flu meds' to kick in. Whenever I'm online I check out a few peoples blogs and while I was visiting Sickamore's blog I came across this post (what I learnt in 2007). It inspired me to do my own. So here goes:
- Slow is beautiful. I used to run through breakfast, work, learning how to play the piano etc. This year I found the joy in experiencing every moment of what I'm doing. I have learnt to be PRESENT in every moment of my life, so I can be the best me I can be at every moment of my life.
- No matter what I do, there will always be someone who does not like it/me. I got a job that someone elses was not very well at (I didn't ask for it, I just got it) . Instead of looking at themselves that person turned their anger toward me. No matter what you do, how well you do it or how good your intentions are. There will ALWAYS be someone who think you are 'scum of the earth', so do what you want to do for you and no one else.
- I underestimate myself way too much. This year I changed jobs, got a 'promotion' in less than 6 months of starting my new job, doubled my income, made the nay sayers eat their words, wrote 3 new songs (by myself) on the piano (that I only started playing less that 2 yrs ago). I don't underestimate myself anymore!!
- I can have a good time without drinking. At varsity I used to drink a WHOLE lot, but outside of that environment I have really moved away from that.
- This is STILL a mans world. Intelligent women still don't have their power. Booty shaking and being someones 'woman' is still what counts. Capable singers have to resort to being naked to be respected and men can look as shabby as shabby as they want and they still get respect.
- Never have sex or try to have sex when you are NOT READY for it. Things work so much better when you are ready. Sex is so much more than getting naked with someone... SO SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT. Sex starts with you: what you say to yourself, how much you value yourself and being responsible for your own actions.
- Gratitude is POWERFUL! Being grateful for what you have EVERYDAY makes you see how much you really have and it also opens you up for more blessings.
- Preventing the spread of HIV has very little to do with education and everything to do with people's attitudes. Too many young WOMEN who are very educated are STILL dying from HIV/AIDS.
- I believe that we have let the youth down in a very bad way. Just switch on your TV, radio, go on the Internet or listen to what kids are saying. I'm not saying that I am old and wise but I am saying that these kids are confused and there is a lot of work that WE ALL need to do to 'rescue' the youth.
- No matter how good you think you are as a president, if you alienate your team they will not vote for you again. Leaving the people that you are leading in total confusion.
This is a big day for me. It's my 100th post on this blog. It's a great achievement for me. To put it in perspective, I didn't have 100 post in XXL in over a year. So now it's a celebration! 2morrow night! I turn 23, Jesus turns 2007.
As you already know, I'm back in first place. Ralph is comfortably in 4th, but now Mr. "I Can Make You Second" as slipped through the cracks into 3rd place. I've chronicled his fall from grace over the past 3 weeks via e-mails.
WHEN HE WAS IN 1ST
From: I Can Make You Second Sent: Tue 11/20/2007 10:34 AM To: Sickamore
Cmon guys, seriously, step it up. I am getting bored running away with this thing
WHEN HE WAS IN FIRST AND BOUGHT KOBE BRYANT
From: I Can Make You Second Sent: Thu 11/29/2007 2:44 PM To: Sickamore
I Can Make You Second, AKA, The Kobe Bryants. Be afraid. Be very Afraid.
WHEN THE KOBE TRADE DIDN'T WORK AND HIS LEAD STARTED TO DIMINISH
From: I Can Make You Second Sent: Thu 11/29/2007 3:17 PM To: Sickamore
Panic? the guy averages 10 more points a game then anyone in the league. Its not brain surgery. But listen, I'm a First Place organization. We play to stay there, I'm not busy playing catchup.
Possible name changes on the horizon: I Can Make You Blog I Can Make You Not Invite DiBugnaras to Compete in a Public Forum I Can Make You Trade for Shawne Williams The Kobe Bryants (Formerly the Richard Jeffersons)
WHEN I HAD A BAD NIGHT AND HIS LEAD SWELLED
From: I Can Make You Second Sent: Tue 12/4/2007 10:08 AM To: Sickamore
Let me get this straight now, is this how this works......
I Can Make You Second > The Secret Agents > Ft. Greene Leans
Very effective and accurate system.....
WHEN MY TWO STAR PLAYERS DIDNT PLAY: LEBRON GOT INJURED AND JASON KIDD SAT OUT
From: I Can Make You Second Sent: Thu 12/6/2007 11:09 AM To: Sickamore
ahhaahah....get me Third Places email too........ Listen though, I have the perfect name for your team. DNP Management. Logo can be a picture of Lebron and JKidd in street clothes.
BTW, I was watching that Denver game. You sent the Iverson email out, and he scores 4 more points in about 18 minutes of play. I Can Make You Jinx Your Team.
Seriously, this is getting very boring.. I need you guys to step it up.
WHEN HE STARTED SLIPPING AGAIN AND MADE PANIC SIGNINGS LIKE CHRIS KAMAN
From: I Can Make You Second Sent: Thu 12/6/2007 11:21 AM To: Sickamore
I guess Dreaming big is your job.... and Kaman deserves to play on a winning organization like mine. Dwight Howard is on vacation. He will be returning Tuesday night at midnight.
WHEN HIS LEAD FELL TO UNDER 100
From: I Can Make You Second Sent: Fri 12/7/2007 7:20 AM To: Sickamore
zzzzzzz....My whole team goes tonight while that midget Iverson and last nights Sickamore Overated Special Josh Howard hang out at a local tattoo parlor. Have fun watching me blow my lead up again.
WHEN STARBURY FATHER DIED (HE ENDED UP SCORING 2 PTS THIS NIGHT)
From: I Can Make You Second Sent: Fri 12/7/2007 3:04 PM To: Sickamore
If I had one more trade, I would add Mr. Marbury to my squad.... he is about to tear it up. I Can Make You Make a Sentimental Trade.
WHEN HE FELL BACK INTO SECOND PLACE
From: I Can Make You Second Sent: Tue 12/11/2007 9:14 AM To: Sickamore
Enjoy it while it lasts because it wont last long.
WHEN I PICKED UP CHRIS PAUL BEFORE HE DID (GENIUS MOVE ON MY PART)
From: I Can Make You Second Sent: Wed 12/12/2007 2:19 PM To: Sickamore
Wow. What a great post. Really super stuff. Translation "I made a nice little move to protect my puny lead and got Kaman." Trouble is, your not the only one who got C.Paul. I might have to cut him. I dont want to be associated with ghost trading like you are.
WHEN SECOND PLACE GOT FRUSTRATING AND STARTED TO THROW PETTY (ALBEIT FUNNY) JABS TO MY BLOG
From: I Can Make You Second Sent: Wed 12/12/2007 2:35 PM To: Sickamore
Your in first place for a minute and your talking smack. Pretty amateur, dont you think. Chris Paul called me...he asked me if I knew that you recommended clothing and jewelry for men on your blog. Maybe you can recommend a nice pair of shades for Kaman.
MORE SECOND PLACE FRUSTRATION
From: I Can Make You Second Sent: Thu 12/13/2007 5:03 PM To: Sickamore
This is very unoriginal trash talk. Pretty much everything I said when i was in first. I thought you were creative. Once I get back on my thrown this week, I am going to write all 13 people that read your blog and tell them you need a new Muse. ..yours truly TGIAD (Thank God I'm a DiBugnara)
WHEN I SUGGESTED HE SHOULD COME WORK FOR ME
From: I Can Make You Third Sent: Fri 12/14/2007 10:33 AM To: Sickamore
I'm in. Great idea. You just landed yourself your 14th viewer for your blog.
4 HOURS BEFORE HE FOUND OUT ABOUT 3RD PLACE
From: I Can Make You Second Sent: Mon 12/17/2007 9:58 AM To: Sickamore
I wouldnt sleep on me.
WHEN THE 3RD PLACE REALITY SET IN
From: I Can Make You Second Sent: Mon 12/17/2007 1:46 PM To: Sickamore
I cant believe you changed your name Ghost Dog. Your mirroring techniques can truly be mistaken by the common man as lack of creativity. We know this is not true for you though Ghost Dog.
Now the Dibugnara brothers (Ralph who lost the poll is related) are in 3rd and 4th place respectively. Ralph will probably pass him and then fall into fourth place. The moral to this story?
Myspace is for losers, and we are all losers. (See: Myspace.com/TarikHRH)
I learned that its better to be cool for your work than to work to be cool.
After 25 things get different, its all about preparing for 30. All of a sudden I have stronger views and a stronger drive.
That to be President you don't have to be smart. I never thought I'd see the day when the President of the United States of America was an international joke.
That music isn't dead, and won't die. I don't care how u get it, u should hear the new Lupe album. And if u think musics dead, just say you don't like the music, cuz we don't care, plenty of us still do.
The more money I make, the less I actually care to talk about it. Most of my friends have a little money, so until we start hitting the millions its no longer a measure of who's doing better.
That some girls really do just wanna have fun, and sometimes life is serious. I'm turning thirty, its really not enough for us to just party and bullshit anymore, sorry.
I learned that if you have to tell people you're grown and sexy...you probably aren't that grown, or that sexy. (Hint: if it says grown and sexy on the invite and you got it from a bulletin on myspace, its not grown or sexy.)
At the end of the day the world will be what we make it. Forget all of this who controls this and who controls that. At one point they didn't and at one point a few of us will, so if at the end of the day you want to be part of it, get in...the waters cold, but u get used to it.
That money is abt much much more than sneakers, clothes, five star hotels and bottle service. Its for security, insurance, mutual funds, property, and retirement, anything beyond that is the icing on the cake.
Politics is a dirtier game than music, and with good reason, there's more power. There's more money where I am now (music) as it stands. I'm working on combining the two, we'll see how that goes.
That often you get the respect and power before the money. I know a ton of people who respect me and only a few of them pay me.
That if I don't decide to do the things I keep saying someone ought to do, it may never get done.
I learned to pace myself, and not to be in a rush. I used to announce I was doing something new as soon as I got the idea, go out and spend a bunch of money, buy something fly every time I saw or heard someone else was. I've stopped that.
And last but not least, sometimes its ok to be humble, to humble yourself according to the occasion. I recommend limiting those occasions.
Candy Reyes, 20 Pre-Med Student, Graphic Designer, Future Leader of the Free World
-To be in love is to have an addiction in every sense of the word. It's an indescribable high that no other substance can give you. But like any other addiction, you can overdose and die an epileptic, mouth foaming death or you can hit rock bottom and start climbing from there. Happy to say I'm apart of the latter. It's been an exhausting climb up that mountain but I have my harness on in case I fall. "Hi, I'm Candy and I've been clean for 14 months."
-A man doesn't define me, I define me. Being single is not that bad. I began the year not knowing what to expect, afraid of the foreign territory that is singlehood, but all-in-all, it's been good to me. Sure I have my moments where I really miss being a gf and doing all the little gf things but I'm not the type of girl to rush into a relationship just because the last one ended. I told myself to be single for at least a year, and I've surpassed that goal.
-Even if you get burned in the end, put your 200% into it. You don't want to die wondering "what if..."
-Not all men are dogs. But most of them are.
-Though it has always been an addiction of mine, shopping replaced the aforementioned. If I'm not zoned out by school/family/friends, I'm probably thinking about something that has to do with shopping. As bad as it is though, I DO know my limit... And its not the limit each credit card has set for me.
-Be a better friend/family member. My life was so consumed by that boy that I forgot about the others around me. It's like he gave me tunnel vision or something. I forgot that they need me just as much as I need them. Never again, though. My family and friends (or should I say extended family) mean more to me than even the proverbial "perfect man" ever will. Then again, the "perfect man" would share the same philosophy as I & encourage it.
-School isn't life. After 20 years of "school first" being drilled into my brain, I'm just realizing this. I've accepted the fact that I will be in school for practically the rest of my life but I refuse to let it completely consume me. I have to do what I love and enjoy this one life I get to the fullest. Finals time is a different story, though. Clearly (if you truly know me), I'm still working on this lesson. Lol...
-I need to be more selfish.
-I still want to have a kid/family before I go to medical school. Kudos to the women who put their lives on hold for their career and created their families much later in life but I don't want that. I'd like to be a young mom... Cause really, what kid wants to be 18 with 60 year old parents? That's too much of an age gap. Perhaps the very reason my parents and I don't see eye-to-eye on things. How likely it is I'll have a kid/family before medical school is what's up in air. I'd love for it to happen but I'm certainly NOT that pressed for time to be on the hunt for a man to breed/start a family with.
-My brain is more focused after 2am.
-I really miss art. Drawing, painting, sculpting, designing, doing make-up, composing random songs on the piano... I really miss it. Check my notebooks, half the pages are random sketches.
-I need to do more. But I guess this goes with my school isn't everything lesson.
-You can't always get what you want. But never settle.
-"No" is just the beginning of a negotiation. Refer to previous sentence.
-Thinking I could eat beef or pork again after not eating it for years was dumb. Who likes having their face in the toilet all night. *cringes at the thought*
-Thinking I could outdrink a 6'7, 200+ lb. man was even more dumb. That's one thing I don't mind you winning. Everything else is fair game.
-Learn from the past and live for the present with the future in mind by doing what you love with the people you love. This is what has made me happy this year.
Chris Sapp Singer, Writer, Future Psychologist
-I've learned that college isn't hard at all. It's just having the reponsibility to do work without someone breathing over your shoulder.
-Music isn't my passion. I only do it for fun. My real passion is psychology.
-I don't even think I would wanna be famous. I like the quiet life. I would rather be a writer behind the scenes.
-Pussy is overrated. The male species will run through flames to get it. I like it but I'm not going to alter my life in order to get some.
-I take sports too serious. I didn't talk to my girl for 3 days because her team (Patriots) beat my team (Steelers). I'm still upset.
-I'm glad I'm a counselor cause this genration of kids are really gone. We got a lot of work to do with them.
-Being a singer ain't all it cracked up to be. I'm not even signed and I got a bunch of crazy chics telling me they wanna marry me and dudes that wanna fight me cause it's their girl. I mean, it's kinda funny, but damn......
win·ner (wĭn'ər) Pronunciation Key n. One that wins, especially a victor in sports or a notably successful person. –noun 1. a person or thing that wins; victor. —Idiom 2. winner take all, a situation or outcome whereby the winner receives all the prizes or rewards. 3. the contestant who wins the contest [ant: also-ran] 4. a gambler who wins a bet [ant: loser] 5. a person with a record of successes; "his son would never be the achiever that his father was"; "only winners need apply"; "if you want to be a success you have to dress like a success"
Backstory/Context: I'm #1 in Fantasy Basketball. Ralph is #4. He's having a big night but will still be in 2nd, 3rd or 4th. Ralph believes it's only a matter of time before he's winning. This is the convo:
I Believe In You Ralph = Me Bryon Russell = Ralph
At least bryon russell played in the nba: You forget how fast you got passed last time At least bryon russell played in the nba: All you do is jinx yourself At least bryon russell played in the nba: And I have a ton of guys going the rest of the week I know you study my team but look closer. All the off games happened already At least bryon russell played in the nba: I scored 350 tonight with 6 guys I Believe In You Ralph (y): Wow, your prob in 2nd place I Believe In You Ralph (y): Sunday + Tuesday are the off days I Believe In You Ralph (y): You just got kaman and moon I Believe In You Ralph (y): I don't believe in jinxes I Believe In You Ralph (y): You'll score 300 then 12 the next day At least bryon russell played in the nba: That's 350 and if you scored that much you would of had a parade but I'm a lot cooler then you I Believe In You Ralph (y): I'm in 1st, there's a parade everyday for me I Believe In You Ralph (y): One day when you're winning , you'll understand I Believe In You Ralph (y): #1 I Believe In You Ralph (y): Numero Uno I Believe In You Ralph (y): Head Hanco I Believe In You Ralph (y): The dude with the shoes At least bryon russell played in the nba: Its not even a quarter through the season only losers celebrate everyday, you should watch a patriot game TO I Believe In You Ralph (y): The man with the cigar I Believe In You Ralph (y): The check writer I Believe In You Ralph (y): Tom Brady I Believe In You Ralph (y): Patriots I Believe In You Ralph (y): Michael Jordan I Believe In You Ralph (y): Ali I Believe In You Ralph (y): Who? I Believe In You Ralph (y): Me! I Believe In You Ralph (y): Mayweather At least bryon russell played in the nba: I think of it more like ben johnson At least bryon russell played in the nba: Jose canseco I Believe In You Ralph (y): We the best? No, I'm the best At least bryon russell played in the nba: Wow you just quoted khaled At least bryon russell played in the nba: You probaly should kill yourself now At least bryon russell played in the nba: Karl malone I Believe In You Ralph (y): I'll kill myself when I'm in 4th place At least bryon russell played in the nba: Dan marino At least bryon russell played in the nba: Dj drama I Believe In You Ralph (y): Neo in the matrix At least bryon russell played in the nba: Actually I got it your bryan russell I Believe In You Ralph (y): If this were drugs, I'd be the asian guy in the jungle....then he gets it to frank lucas...then he gets it to his workers...then you get it...4th At least bryon russell played in the nba: You would be frank lucas and I'm the mob boss who was out of jail with all the money At least bryon russell played in the nba: Bryon I Believe In You Ralph (y): "Success took a shot" At least bryon russell played in the nba: Haha I Believe In You Ralph (y): But keep trying I Believe In You Ralph (y): Don't give up I Believe In You Ralph (y): Anything is possible I Believe In You Ralph (y): Somebody landed on the moon I Believe In You Ralph (y): Then you could be in 1st I Believe In You Ralph (y): You just need encouragement I Believe In You Ralph (y): Your the best
Every issue Esquire has the ‘What I’ve Learned’ piece. They’ll ask someone interesting to talk about “the condensed life lessons, knowledge and weird insights” of people who’ve lived or living life to the fullest. This month they look back at 10 years worth for ‘What I’ve Learned’ entries. Muhammad Ali, Ray Charles, Evel Knievel, Suge Knight, Homer Simpson, Jerry Lewis, Donald Trump, Jack Nicholson, Hugh Hefner, Robert Deniro and more. If you see it on the stands (Johnny Depp on the cover), it would be well worth it to pick it up. And if you’re inspired to, please feel free to write yours.
Sickamore, 22, Talent Manager 10:10pm, December 14th,2007 Plane To Miami
-I should’ve never stopped doing mixtapes. I could’ve still done both. The rush you get negotiating with bootleggers, dropping off CDs on the strip and response from the people trumps 8-hour A&R meetings. It just doesn’t pay as well or give you dental care. But at least I have the confidence to know the street is there for me if anything goes wrong. I’ll sell DVDs before flipping burgers
-I met with millionaires, billionaires and moguls this year. The common theme? Their kids are the most important things to them. The wives? Not so much
-Every birthday from 1 to 21 was dramatic. 22 through 29 are all the same year. No one cares that you’re turning 23, 24, 25 or 26
-The office: Mac Book, wireless, notebook, ballpoint pen and Blackberry. Those pieces allow me to work from anywhere
-Courtside Seats > Great Sex. This is why I need to own a team. Or have great sex and breed a ballplayer
-Fantasy basketball has ruined my life. It’s bad enough ESPN is all I watch. Now I wake up and check the score before brushing my teeth. I read the scoreboard on my blackberry during meetings. Think about how many assist Chris Paul has during dinner. It’s my obsession
-Sports are the only time in life where you either win or lose with no in betweens. No moral victories or pitfalls of success. That element keeps me intrigued. I can cry watching sports but not at a funeral
-Fantasy Actor Team: Denzel Washington, Leonardo DiCaprio, Edward Norton, Brad Pitt and Robert Deniro. Eva Mendes is my 6th man for other reasons
-Maverick Carter and LeBron James inspire me to be a better businessman. They’re young and getting it
-I’ve been thinking about death a lot in the past couple of months. What kind of legacy you leave. How you’ll be remembered, if you’re remembered at all. But I need to forget about it because I’m missing out on life. I got a long time to think about death when I’m dead
-In 2004, I wrote a goal list of where I thought should be in 2005 and accomplished less than 5%. This year I wrote a list of things I wanted to do in 2008 and I’ve already done 40% of it. Just shows me that goals and what you want are sometimes two different things
-I’ve owned a business longer than I’ve had a job. So it pisses me off when people say things like “My project will get you a raise” or “Show this to Craig, I bet you’ll get a promotion”.
-Casino, Fight Club, The Lion King, Rocky IV and Catch Me If You Can. American Gangster is creeping up in there though
-At first, I applauded Frank Lucas for burning his chinchilla. Then I started to think ‘Why shouldn’t he be able to go as hard as he wants?’ . You only live once, stunt as hard as you want
-I was reading this obituary about this basketball player from the 1940s. He shaved points for money and in turn banned from the league. He died over 70 years later and that’s the first thing they mentioned: cheater. It’s scary how one bad decision can last the rest of your life
-They say “you never know until you try it”, “scared money don’t make no money” etc. So next year I’m going to try it
The Secret Agents are a #1 organization. Even though we were in second place for a month, it's still a #1 organization. We've gotten rid of the competition. But there's still a long way to go. We need to be #1 in the world.
Therefore we invested in new talent like the Chris': Paul and Kaman.
Did we trade Jose Calderon when TJ Ford came back? Nope, we believe in our players. Now that Ford got re-injured, we look like geniuses.
We believed in the no name Beno Udrich when no one else did. Now he's one of the top 3 owned guards in the league.
Ronnie's been with us since day one.
I just want to thank everyone who believes in us since day one. We're going to take this to the top. Thank you. We'll continue to eat humble pie.
Everyone complains to me about their job, saying it's bullshit. Now you can see how bullshit your jo really is. I scored a 32/40. What's yours?
Here's some bullshit jobs, according to one of my favorite author's Stanley Bing:
Communications manager Essentially you're getting paid well - in the six figures up to 50 percent of your base for bonus - to write e-mails, memos and articles for senior management that their employees have no interest in reading. Oh, and through these written communications we're supposed to inform and engage employees so that they're proud of the company they work for.
Software quality assurance analyst Good job... make sure everyone else is doing their job up to some standard - using some methodology, employing some practices that only you know of and can decide whether are appropriate for 'this project' or not.
Review how other resources are performing their job vis-à-vis methodology they are following and picking fault with an appropriate number of things they do and can `improve.'
Guru of methodology; guru of some internationally recognized operational standard (to which everyone seems to aspire to and eventually gain some of the benefits everyone else apparently has gained); guru of management practices.
Comfortable existence; low stress; $125k per year.
Technical analyst for state government Provide in-depth technical analysis for decisionmakers to base their decisions on. Their decisions rarely if ever match the recommendations of your analysis and if there is a way to squeeze efficiency and save taxpayers tens of thousands, if not millions of dollars a year, you will watch the government decisionmakers go in the exact opposite direction to justify inflated budgets and to protect their turf.
The good: You get to watch government in action and get paid a buttload of money and world-class retirement benefits.
The bad: You get to watch government in action burning your tax dollars under the guise of a competent management decision-making when you know in your gut it should land them in jail for fraud, waste and abuse.
The dark: Take ownership of anything and you will be politically tossed under the bus as it will be your decision. Try to make all decisions as a group so that no one person can be held accountable.
The future: Pina Colada and Margarita sipping in Belize, Panama or Costa Rica just about as far away as anything technical as one can get.
Robot operator Sit and watch the robot do all the work, record statistics of the work and every once in a while, call maintenance to come fix it for you.
Upside: You get to sit on your butt and do nothing all day
Downside: Sitting for eight hours a day for a couple of weeks straight hurts after a while, plus it is incredibly boring.
Darkside: You get lots of time to think, you start plotting ways to actually do some work.
Quality engineer Get paid to post "Quality First" stickers in manufacturing plants all day, espouse how Quality really saves instead of costing money, and write procedures that no one cares about or follows. Then get yelled at when something goes wrong and customers are unhappy.
Academic advisor for student-athletes Basically, what I do is find the easiest classes on my college's campus and enroll my student-athletes in them. Then, if one of my students stops going to class, I call up the professor and beg him/her to give Star Jock the benefit of the doubt and pass them with a `C'.
If the prof isn't immediately cooperative, I happen to notice we have some decent seats to a couple home football/basketball games available for the upcoming season.
Payphone account manager Monitor the number of collect calls made from payphones.
Amount of time per day required to accomplish: 15 minutes. Why? Because there are 150 million cell phones in the country and only 300,000 payphones. Plus, when was the last time you made a collect call from a payphone?
Pay: $50,000/year. Why? Because a 3-minute collect call cost $25 and someone is still making them! Also get to spend plenty of time staring at the wall.
Door monitor For a few months, I had a wonderful part time gig as a "door monitor." My job was to sit in a building just inside the door from 5-8, after the receptionists went home, and occasionally look up from my reading to let in people who knocked (usually fewer than five per day). I could have been replaced by a buzzer. And I made more than minimum wage! (It was either eight or ten bucks an hour, I forget which.)
Management coach Teaching executives how to do their jobs. In every organization, you will rise to your level of incompetence and stay there. These executives get a promotion to a level they cannot do, so they need a coach to help them. Over-paid private tutor for wealthy adult students, no definable product and no way to judge the coach's performance... what could be better!
LeBron James is the smartest 80's Baby (12/30/84) in America. Yours truly (12/23/84) included. Got his NBA games televised in High School. He's paid more from Nike than the NBA. Fired his agent and hired his (incredibly sharp) homeboys. And he's on pace to reach a billion before Jay-Z, Diddy, 50 Cent, Russell and even Michael Jordan. This Fortune Magazine breaks down his business model well. Maverick Carter seems to be the new Steve Stoute. Very inspiring for any crack baby.
Now if he can only play through a sprained (read: jammed) finger on his NON-SHOOTING HAND, I would be in first place in my fantasy league. LeBron cost me about 200 points! But I digress. Maybe he's too focused on business. Not enough heart. That killer Kobe instinct. The finishing skills of Jordan. Only time will tell if all his business sauvy will get in the way of championships.
Here's some snippets (click anywhere for the whole story):
-Left my wallet in a yellow cab -Left my business credit card in a car service -Gotten my myspace deleted -Missed my flight to Miami
But Jesus, who is a Capricorn, must really love me because:
-I took the receipt and gave it to Sade (da best person in the world), and got my wallet back -The driver found my card and they're Fed Ex'ing it to Miami -Lissa aka The Go To Girl and Animal Steele got myspace to restore my page wih ALL my friends -Got a free night to watch 2 of my favorite movies, Fight Club and History Of Violence.
This kid tries to rob another kid with a 2x4, then ends up getting stabbed to death. And the victim gets off scott free! Only in NYC. The rel sad part is the robber turned DOA was a 15 year old super senior 8th grader. Here's the story from NY Daily News:
Wives are getting out of control. First, they want their husbands names. Then they want both names. Now they want new names all together! Or give their husbands their maiden names. Imagine for dad doing that, then filling out a form saying "Father's Maiden Name". This is crazy. Here's some excerpts from today's NY Times:
"My closet is straight Birdman's and Gucci's...I don't wear nothing else besides Gucci, True Religions and Birdmans. Nothing comes in between that."
"If I see something I like to buy, I like to shop...Gucci, you know 4, 5 pieces could be like 10 stacks. We pay for that. So we keep money because what we see we like to buy. I don't like to wait, I gotta come back. Naw! Somebody with me better have my money, have a lot of money some kind of way and get this shit because I want it!"
"Honestly, my house I got like 100 stacks on the floor in hundreds. I walk on that shit! I might have a mil in the wall. That's how I am. And I pay taxes on that shit. So don't come fuckin' with me."
Name: Sickamore Home: Broooooooooklyn, New York, United States About Me: 23 Year Old Talent Manager + Ageist. Runs ThankGodImFamous, GoOldHead and The Famous Firm. Overall sarcastic yet nice guy See my complete profile